Developing a costume idea for Halloween wasn’t a concern of mine for about a decade. In 1996, I wore a tight fitting track suit and a bike helmet, carried around a glow in the dark Frisbee, and told everyone I was Tron. Nobody knew what the hell Tron was, so I contacted The Programmer and had those unknowing people eliminated from competition. Actually, I instead gave up on Halloween for a few years. Three years later I returned to the scene with my orange one piece prison suit, dressed as a boring prisoner. Yawn. That was my last costume until last year when I donned my Adidas jump suit (not a tight fitting one), a top hat, giant sunglasses, and a wall clock around my neck. Flava Flav hit the town and had a decent amount of fun. I was probably the whitest member in Public Enemy’s history. This year, I have two costumes ready. I’m not telling you what they are; you’ll have to wait for the evidence.
The point is: I’m just getting in to this whole Halloween thing. I bought some candy for those little ones seeking candy corns or chicanery, and am actually looking forward to this year’s adventure. The problem with Halloween that I have is with the movies. I’m not so in to the scream-o horror flicks, and can only take Freddy or Jason in small doses, and even then, only the old ones and not the Rob Zombified remixes. I do, however, dig zombie movies. Actually, the zombies do the digging on the way out of their graves; I like zombie flicks. That’s better. Seeing the undead get abused, shot, destroyed, beat up, etc. is plain hilarious. They move so slow you could practically box them to death, even if your arms were wet lasagna noodles. However, this brings me to an even bigger topic, one beyond Halloween.
Direct TV started an ad campaign years ago where footage from 1982’s “Poltergeist” shows Craig T. Nelson awaking to Heather O’Rourke talking to the TV. Coach then talks about how great Direct TV is, without mention that you can’t watch TV on cloudy days, and that’s that. Direct TV making money of off the deceased, without having to pay the estate of Heather O’Rourke. It’s a very unsettling commercial, indeed.
Now, it appears that (just in time for Halloween) the dead are once again rising from the grave. Last night I was watching the ALCS (look for that blog back on the main page) and was horrified to see that Direct TV has also posthumously declared the rights to Chris Farley, and that weasel David Spade is in on it, too. In the famous “fat guy in a little coat” scene from “Tommy Boy,” David Spade takes a minute to talk about how great Direct TV is, without mentioning that if your neighbors have it too that your signals may get crossed.
HOW DARE YOU, SPADE! Chris Farley made you what you are today. Without the genius and physical comedy mastery that Farley possessed, you’d literally be working on an airline telling people, “buh-bye.” I can’t believe he’s collecting endorsement checks from Direct TV on behalf of his more talented, and deceased, sidekick. Hopefully, when Spade dies, they’ll use his likeness to market toilet cleaners, enemas, home suicide kits, and douches. The whole thing is upsetting. Not the dead rising from the grave; that would be kind of fun (kind of). That’s a whole other story, though.
At this time of year, let’s keep our triangle Jack O lantern eyes fixed on the prize; candy and costume contest prizes. Let’s leave the dead be, and not try to make money off of them. If and when we ever undergo a zombie attack, I’m going to help Chris Farley’s corpse find David Spade, whether that little rat is alive or not. Let the dead rest, for peat’s sake. Yes, peat’s. After all, they’re all fertilizers anyway.
The point is: I’m just getting in to this whole Halloween thing. I bought some candy for those little ones seeking candy corns or chicanery, and am actually looking forward to this year’s adventure. The problem with Halloween that I have is with the movies. I’m not so in to the scream-o horror flicks, and can only take Freddy or Jason in small doses, and even then, only the old ones and not the Rob Zombified remixes. I do, however, dig zombie movies. Actually, the zombies do the digging on the way out of their graves; I like zombie flicks. That’s better. Seeing the undead get abused, shot, destroyed, beat up, etc. is plain hilarious. They move so slow you could practically box them to death, even if your arms were wet lasagna noodles. However, this brings me to an even bigger topic, one beyond Halloween.
Direct TV started an ad campaign years ago where footage from 1982’s “Poltergeist” shows Craig T. Nelson awaking to Heather O’Rourke talking to the TV. Coach then talks about how great Direct TV is, without mention that you can’t watch TV on cloudy days, and that’s that. Direct TV making money of off the deceased, without having to pay the estate of Heather O’Rourke. It’s a very unsettling commercial, indeed.
Now, it appears that (just in time for Halloween) the dead are once again rising from the grave. Last night I was watching the ALCS (look for that blog back on the main page) and was horrified to see that Direct TV has also posthumously declared the rights to Chris Farley, and that weasel David Spade is in on it, too. In the famous “fat guy in a little coat” scene from “Tommy Boy,” David Spade takes a minute to talk about how great Direct TV is, without mentioning that if your neighbors have it too that your signals may get crossed.
HOW DARE YOU, SPADE! Chris Farley made you what you are today. Without the genius and physical comedy mastery that Farley possessed, you’d literally be working on an airline telling people, “buh-bye.” I can’t believe he’s collecting endorsement checks from Direct TV on behalf of his more talented, and deceased, sidekick. Hopefully, when Spade dies, they’ll use his likeness to market toilet cleaners, enemas, home suicide kits, and douches. The whole thing is upsetting. Not the dead rising from the grave; that would be kind of fun (kind of). That’s a whole other story, though.
At this time of year, let’s keep our triangle Jack O lantern eyes fixed on the prize; candy and costume contest prizes. Let’s leave the dead be, and not try to make money off of them. If and when we ever undergo a zombie attack, I’m going to help Chris Farley’s corpse find David Spade, whether that little rat is alive or not. Let the dead rest, for peat’s sake. Yes, peat’s. After all, they’re all fertilizers anyway.
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