11.11.2009

BREAKING NEWS -----BRETT FAVRE TO RETURN TO AEROSMITH!

Cancel filling out the job application I posted yesterday, the position of front man for Aerosmith has been filled. In a stunning announcement last night, Brett Favre walked on to the stage at Irving Plaza in New York and announced, "Joe Perry is a horse of another color, and I have the lips of a motherfu*@ing rainbow horse!"
Favre made it clear that it took him some time to decide whether or not to return to the ranks of the NFL, the Not Famous any Longer. What it came down to for Favre was not being able to walk away. 
"Sure, I could fall off the sidelines in a game in South Dakota and mess myself up real bad, but the reward is, I could be the centerpiece of something that people talk about. Do you know what kind of advertising power you can achieve by making people discuss you? It's like, what's Brett Favre doing right now, I can just look him up online and find out. Brett Favre. I get paid every time I say it. So does Brett Favre, and when Brett Favre says he's coming back to Aerosmith, Brett Favre means it!"
Joe Perry said the band would un-retire Favre's #4 band jersey, which was assigned to him yesterday when he quit the band. Aerosmith bases their jersey numbers by order of importance of the band. Joe Perry, the mastermind behind creating the phenomenal band name "The Joe Perry Project," now wears Favre's old #1 jersey.  
"I just want to win a ring," said Favre, "one bigger than any of the ones I'm wearing here:"

Favre also said it will be weird to return to Boston after announcing his return in New York.
"We were from there for almost forty years, and we had a lot of great memories being from there, but let it go. Just let it go. But at the same time, it's a great city and we'll always be from there in a way. I don't know, you decide for me, you tell me what to say about that."
 Brett Favre closed by saying he wouldn't rule out being traded for Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Boston Celtics in the offseason. "He said he wanted to play in the NFL, so he came come sing for Aerosmith, too. The band has been lacking the presence of a large black person since the early eighties, so this could be exciting for everyone."
 When reached by Wreckmanac, Glen Davis was sort of quoted as saying, "I got traded for Brett Favre? That's better than sitting on the couch all day after getting suspended for sucker punching a friend!"

Parentheses-Palooza!

Two new posts, both in music. A new take (inspired by iPod oddness) on a playlist, and, for all you inspiring stars, there's a job application (which is filled with parentheses) to become the front man of Aerosmith now that Steven Tyler has left.
I know it gets boring reading about music all the time, and it leaves you hungry for something else. Fear not, dudes and dudettes, the opening of Wreckmanac food comes tomorrow, just in time for Thanksgiving. Burgers are Thanksgiving, right? It won't be all burgers, but some are inevitaburger.



By the way, "V" was solid tonight. Better character development, not too much action. The pace of the show is good, and it avoids using action as a crutch. The action scenes have been good, but we have to care about these people, right? Nice work, snakes.

Final item of the night (also about music, also featuring parentheses), Plowing Mud Forever practice tonight featured initial recording work for the next album. It's early, but we made really good progress in our first attempt. Good stuff, with more to follow. As soon as proof of this exists, you'll get it here, and also at the amazing PlowingMudForever.com.

Go rest, we'll keep wrecking.

 

11.09.2009

Updates for all, reading for some

Some new stuff has found it's way into the new section, Jumbled, Ah' Ya?, as well as a brand new Whoreoscope, and a few new Tunes posts. Tunes includes a brief tribute to the late Jerry Fuchs, who died tragically over the weekend. Though I wasn't a friend of his, I did deal with him on occasion, and was close with the DFA Records family for years. RIP, Jerry.

There will be more posts tonight or tomorrow. Right now, time it's time to eat some bratwurst and watch some football. No beer tonight, though; Sunday night took care of all that.

Enjoy kids! No, no comma, I'm telling you to enjoy kids. They're  pre-pubescently delicious!

11.04.2009

"Man, you look like you're straight outta' 'V!'"

I was skeptical at best when ABC started advertising the premiere of “V,” which took place last night. I was a fan of the original, and caught a few of the original installments in syndication years later, before catching it on random Saturday afternoons on SyFy Channel. My thought was that ABC’s new version would be a joke, and an insult to the fantastic 1983 original. I’m pleased to say that last night’s pilot proved me to be quite wrong.
They got everything right so far. The reptilian mother ships are well conceived, and Anna, the High Commander of the Visitors, looks especially serpentine. I loved the gravity machine at the beginning, where Tyler was introduced to his temptation, the sexy snake girl holding an apple. Biblical allusions run throughout “V,” which I usually don’t like, but this isn’t being shoved down the throats of viewers. Religion is underlying, not the focus. The cast is set up beautifully, and gets to the core of every emotion. Apple puns, that’s right. If you think that joke is for old people, you’re right; Granny Smith loved it.

Rarely do I get excited about television programs, but I’m excited about this one. I will definitely be following this show, and can’t wait to see more. What worries me about it is the reaction from a lot of viewers saying it’s a blatant anti-Obama show. Our Nation gets swept up in the fervor of a bright new leader promising a better future, and, Universal Health Care. I hope the masses don’t see this as anti-Obama, but rather the contrary. The show is warning against getting swept up in hysteria regarding a new leader, and actually, practically is encouraging audiences to arm themselves in case of invasion by a race of alien reptiles seeking Universal Domination. I’d also like to remind viewers that the show was created in 1983, when Obama was 22.

A stark contrast was made between the two installments of this epic sci-fi tale, where in the 1983 version, one of the last lines spoken before the Visitors arrived was, “The market is up, I think everything is going to be O.K.” Last night’s premiere talked of terrible times around us, from economy to society, and shared the feeling that things couldn’t get worse. When the Visitors arrive, as Obama did, the masses see them as saviors, and shed caution like a layer of skin to accept their new leaders. At least, that’s the angle being played here. I was only 6 when “V” first aired, but I was old enough to know that the early Reagan years were not filled with much hope, either. “V” came two years after Reagan’s election, and had more to do with the Visitors’ sinister search and seizure of control than their snaky politics. The thought that the new version is anti-Obama is laughable. Those that share that sentiment have likely never worked to prepare a pilot for air, including pre-production, filming, pitching, casting, nor have they worked in any other realm of entertainment. Personally, I haven’t worked on a TV show, but as an aspiring writer (who has tried to pitch shows) and a stagehand of eight plus years, I have a fairly decent idea of what all would have to take place for “V” to return to “T.V.,” and can say with confidence that I’m almost positive the inception of this project took place more than a year ago when Obama was elected, and when, in fact, there wasn’t a snake in the grass, but rather a rat in the bush. I could be wrong, and the director could be a staunch Republican as well as a fan of the original show. Either way, I don’t want to get involved with the politics of this show. Go get your guns, you NRA lovers, that’s always the best way to deal with snakes; shoot them. I’m going to go join the Lawnmower Coalition.
This will be an interesting issue to watch; let’s see how far the anti-Obama theme “exposes itself” in the show. If I notice it, I’ll let you know. Until then, don’t get winning The Nobel Peace Prize confused with “We are of peace. Always.”

11.01.2009

It's that time

I spent too much time procrastinating and designing this page to present anything fruitful today. I feel bad, but this day can be described best by this picture: