11.11.2009

BREAKING NEWS -----BRETT FAVRE TO RETURN TO AEROSMITH!

Cancel filling out the job application I posted yesterday, the position of front man for Aerosmith has been filled. In a stunning announcement last night, Brett Favre walked on to the stage at Irving Plaza in New York and announced, "Joe Perry is a horse of another color, and I have the lips of a motherfu*@ing rainbow horse!"
Favre made it clear that it took him some time to decide whether or not to return to the ranks of the NFL, the Not Famous any Longer. What it came down to for Favre was not being able to walk away. 
"Sure, I could fall off the sidelines in a game in South Dakota and mess myself up real bad, but the reward is, I could be the centerpiece of something that people talk about. Do you know what kind of advertising power you can achieve by making people discuss you? It's like, what's Brett Favre doing right now, I can just look him up online and find out. Brett Favre. I get paid every time I say it. So does Brett Favre, and when Brett Favre says he's coming back to Aerosmith, Brett Favre means it!"
Joe Perry said the band would un-retire Favre's #4 band jersey, which was assigned to him yesterday when he quit the band. Aerosmith bases their jersey numbers by order of importance of the band. Joe Perry, the mastermind behind creating the phenomenal band name "The Joe Perry Project," now wears Favre's old #1 jersey.  
"I just want to win a ring," said Favre, "one bigger than any of the ones I'm wearing here:"

Favre also said it will be weird to return to Boston after announcing his return in New York.
"We were from there for almost forty years, and we had a lot of great memories being from there, but let it go. Just let it go. But at the same time, it's a great city and we'll always be from there in a way. I don't know, you decide for me, you tell me what to say about that."
 Brett Favre closed by saying he wouldn't rule out being traded for Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Boston Celtics in the offseason. "He said he wanted to play in the NFL, so he came come sing for Aerosmith, too. The band has been lacking the presence of a large black person since the early eighties, so this could be exciting for everyone."
 When reached by Wreckmanac, Glen Davis was sort of quoted as saying, "I got traded for Brett Favre? That's better than sitting on the couch all day after getting suspended for sucker punching a friend!"

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