11.11.2009

BREAKING NEWS -----BRETT FAVRE TO RETURN TO AEROSMITH!

Cancel filling out the job application I posted yesterday, the position of front man for Aerosmith has been filled. In a stunning announcement last night, Brett Favre walked on to the stage at Irving Plaza in New York and announced, "Joe Perry is a horse of another color, and I have the lips of a motherfu*@ing rainbow horse!"
Favre made it clear that it took him some time to decide whether or not to return to the ranks of the NFL, the Not Famous any Longer. What it came down to for Favre was not being able to walk away. 
"Sure, I could fall off the sidelines in a game in South Dakota and mess myself up real bad, but the reward is, I could be the centerpiece of something that people talk about. Do you know what kind of advertising power you can achieve by making people discuss you? It's like, what's Brett Favre doing right now, I can just look him up online and find out. Brett Favre. I get paid every time I say it. So does Brett Favre, and when Brett Favre says he's coming back to Aerosmith, Brett Favre means it!"
Joe Perry said the band would un-retire Favre's #4 band jersey, which was assigned to him yesterday when he quit the band. Aerosmith bases their jersey numbers by order of importance of the band. Joe Perry, the mastermind behind creating the phenomenal band name "The Joe Perry Project," now wears Favre's old #1 jersey.  
"I just want to win a ring," said Favre, "one bigger than any of the ones I'm wearing here:"

Favre also said it will be weird to return to Boston after announcing his return in New York.
"We were from there for almost forty years, and we had a lot of great memories being from there, but let it go. Just let it go. But at the same time, it's a great city and we'll always be from there in a way. I don't know, you decide for me, you tell me what to say about that."
 Brett Favre closed by saying he wouldn't rule out being traded for Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Boston Celtics in the offseason. "He said he wanted to play in the NFL, so he came come sing for Aerosmith, too. The band has been lacking the presence of a large black person since the early eighties, so this could be exciting for everyone."
 When reached by Wreckmanac, Glen Davis was sort of quoted as saying, "I got traded for Brett Favre? That's better than sitting on the couch all day after getting suspended for sucker punching a friend!"

Parentheses-Palooza!

Two new posts, both in music. A new take (inspired by iPod oddness) on a playlist, and, for all you inspiring stars, there's a job application (which is filled with parentheses) to become the front man of Aerosmith now that Steven Tyler has left.
I know it gets boring reading about music all the time, and it leaves you hungry for something else. Fear not, dudes and dudettes, the opening of Wreckmanac food comes tomorrow, just in time for Thanksgiving. Burgers are Thanksgiving, right? It won't be all burgers, but some are inevitaburger.



By the way, "V" was solid tonight. Better character development, not too much action. The pace of the show is good, and it avoids using action as a crutch. The action scenes have been good, but we have to care about these people, right? Nice work, snakes.

Final item of the night (also about music, also featuring parentheses), Plowing Mud Forever practice tonight featured initial recording work for the next album. It's early, but we made really good progress in our first attempt. Good stuff, with more to follow. As soon as proof of this exists, you'll get it here, and also at the amazing PlowingMudForever.com.

Go rest, we'll keep wrecking.

 

11.09.2009

Updates for all, reading for some

Some new stuff has found it's way into the new section, Jumbled, Ah' Ya?, as well as a brand new Whoreoscope, and a few new Tunes posts. Tunes includes a brief tribute to the late Jerry Fuchs, who died tragically over the weekend. Though I wasn't a friend of his, I did deal with him on occasion, and was close with the DFA Records family for years. RIP, Jerry.

There will be more posts tonight or tomorrow. Right now, time it's time to eat some bratwurst and watch some football. No beer tonight, though; Sunday night took care of all that.

Enjoy kids! No, no comma, I'm telling you to enjoy kids. They're  pre-pubescently delicious!

11.04.2009

"Man, you look like you're straight outta' 'V!'"

I was skeptical at best when ABC started advertising the premiere of “V,” which took place last night. I was a fan of the original, and caught a few of the original installments in syndication years later, before catching it on random Saturday afternoons on SyFy Channel. My thought was that ABC’s new version would be a joke, and an insult to the fantastic 1983 original. I’m pleased to say that last night’s pilot proved me to be quite wrong.
They got everything right so far. The reptilian mother ships are well conceived, and Anna, the High Commander of the Visitors, looks especially serpentine. I loved the gravity machine at the beginning, where Tyler was introduced to his temptation, the sexy snake girl holding an apple. Biblical allusions run throughout “V,” which I usually don’t like, but this isn’t being shoved down the throats of viewers. Religion is underlying, not the focus. The cast is set up beautifully, and gets to the core of every emotion. Apple puns, that’s right. If you think that joke is for old people, you’re right; Granny Smith loved it.

Rarely do I get excited about television programs, but I’m excited about this one. I will definitely be following this show, and can’t wait to see more. What worries me about it is the reaction from a lot of viewers saying it’s a blatant anti-Obama show. Our Nation gets swept up in the fervor of a bright new leader promising a better future, and, Universal Health Care. I hope the masses don’t see this as anti-Obama, but rather the contrary. The show is warning against getting swept up in hysteria regarding a new leader, and actually, practically is encouraging audiences to arm themselves in case of invasion by a race of alien reptiles seeking Universal Domination. I’d also like to remind viewers that the show was created in 1983, when Obama was 22.

A stark contrast was made between the two installments of this epic sci-fi tale, where in the 1983 version, one of the last lines spoken before the Visitors arrived was, “The market is up, I think everything is going to be O.K.” Last night’s premiere talked of terrible times around us, from economy to society, and shared the feeling that things couldn’t get worse. When the Visitors arrive, as Obama did, the masses see them as saviors, and shed caution like a layer of skin to accept their new leaders. At least, that’s the angle being played here. I was only 6 when “V” first aired, but I was old enough to know that the early Reagan years were not filled with much hope, either. “V” came two years after Reagan’s election, and had more to do with the Visitors’ sinister search and seizure of control than their snaky politics. The thought that the new version is anti-Obama is laughable. Those that share that sentiment have likely never worked to prepare a pilot for air, including pre-production, filming, pitching, casting, nor have they worked in any other realm of entertainment. Personally, I haven’t worked on a TV show, but as an aspiring writer (who has tried to pitch shows) and a stagehand of eight plus years, I have a fairly decent idea of what all would have to take place for “V” to return to “T.V.,” and can say with confidence that I’m almost positive the inception of this project took place more than a year ago when Obama was elected, and when, in fact, there wasn’t a snake in the grass, but rather a rat in the bush. I could be wrong, and the director could be a staunch Republican as well as a fan of the original show. Either way, I don’t want to get involved with the politics of this show. Go get your guns, you NRA lovers, that’s always the best way to deal with snakes; shoot them. I’m going to go join the Lawnmower Coalition.
This will be an interesting issue to watch; let’s see how far the anti-Obama theme “exposes itself” in the show. If I notice it, I’ll let you know. Until then, don’t get winning The Nobel Peace Prize confused with “We are of peace. Always.”

11.01.2009

It's that time

I spent too much time procrastinating and designing this page to present anything fruitful today. I feel bad, but this day can be described best by this picture:





10.30.2009

Vide-Oh no you don't

There's little other than a brief music post that's new today. I spent most of today shooting videos with my phone before realizing my phone shoots in Quicktime, and I only have Windows Movie Maker for video editing. I can't get my 3g2 files in to .aif files, and it's a setback that I never even considered happening. The problem will be solved soon enough, but after an afternoon of trying, I'm postponing that for today. I know I can download a third party program to convert them, but most of them are only for short trial periods. I'll wait for this other solution to arrive. So today there's just the music post, and maybe some other stuff you missed. Food will be the next big update. Some burger recipes, and an excellent Fall dish are on the way tomorrow. Sorry about the small post, but I had a whole video shot and ready for edits. Re-shooting will be necessary with new format, but way better quality and ease of use.

The Celtics looked pretty damn good tonight, by the way. I know the Bulls are bad on the second of back to backs, especially on the road, but the Celtics have the deepest bench in the NBA. You could argue for the Magic, but I would have disagreed even before Vince Carter left tonight's game with a leg injury. To be able to interchange Glen Davis (once he returns from injury), Kendrick Perkins, Kevin Garnett and Rasheed Wallace is impressive. Marquis Daniels is an upgrade from Stephon Marbury to back up Rondo, and Sheldon Williams is the best James Posey poser I've seen in green since James left. The only question will be K.G.'s health, which, if steady through the season, should put the Celtics in the Finals. There are 79 more regular season games before the Playoffs, so we'll wait and see.

More tomorrow, get burger hungry!

10.29.2009

TV demands attention, doesn't express gratitude towards owner.

As much as I dislike the Yankees, I definitely cannot agree with Pedro Martinez’s statement that he’s the most influential player to ever play in Yankee Stadium. Sure, he’s a first ballot Hall of Famer and has had some memorable games there, but he’s not the most influential. Also, his approach of “you guys in New York have been so mean to me,” doesn’t play well when his bank account was getting direct deposit checks from the Mets for several years. He wasn’t complaining then, so I don’t want to hear it now. Oh, and as far as apologizing for the Zimmer toss, don’t bother. That statement was teeming with BS, “I thought he was coming to give me advice.” The last time a guy came charging at me, I wasn’t thinking advice. Besides, don’t say you feel bad six years after the fact. Don’t say that Zimmer said horrible things about your mother, either. If they were so offensive and horrendous, we probably would have heard about them immediately after the incident. Pedro could be pitching the last game of his career right now; I think he should be more worried about command and winning, not what happened six years ago. I wish Pedro the best in tonight’s game as well as in life after baseball, but I can’t say I’m going to miss his mouth. Still, it’s surprising the Yankees haven’t hit much so far tonight. More as the game develops.

It’s the third inning now, and I’m flipping back and forth between that and Bruins vs. Devils. Their also in the 3
rd, but tied at 1. The B’s have looked inspired at times tonight, and, as usual, Tim Thomas is playing well and keeping them in it. I don’t recognize anyone on the Devils, especially with Martin Brodeur not in net. Ah crap, got wrapped up in controlling the dog and came back to a 2-1 Devil win. Sadly, it turns out my favorite part of that broadcast was during intermission when the Devils brass spoke of their efforts to revamp the area around the Prudential Center (a wonderful, fantastic thing). The newest restaurant to open is Brick City Bar and Grill / CafĂ©. I got a good laugh when they mentioned the owner of the restaurant partnered with the NHL’s local team in a venture to make a great neighborhood for a sports arena which is already standing. This owner, and other owners of small businesses, will all be making deals with the Devils. If the management of the hockey team desires to have holiday parties at Brick City, there will be a lot of people dancing with the Devils in the pale moon light. As bad as those jokes are, a loss to the Devils on home ice to sink to a .500 record is equally as painful. The Bruins seem to be expecting things to come to them and are not being aggressive or physical enough.

I liked that in the top of the 5
th inning there were two representatives from the “text to get answer” service, KGB, sitting in the stands. The 40 something year old cougar and the rockin’ dude with the backwards hat were having a great time, as evidenced by the beer in that feline’s paw. KGB seems to be saying, “when you’re drunk at a bar and can’t remember the answers to things, text us; we’ll be drunk, too, but near a computer as well.” That’s a great way to advertise, guys. I knew you couldn’t be trusted; you’re no different than the Russian Secret Service.

Burnett is pitching well, and Matsui’s home run has turned Charlie Manuel in to Grady Little, wondering if he should take Pedro off of Yankee Stadium’s mound. It’s funny that the Yankees have scored on two solo home runs; that never happens at this Yankee Stadium.


I draw the line at 3-1 Yankees; I’ll look for highlights later because it’s not worth watching them a win a non-deciding game. I have a Scrabble game to settle with my phone, and then watch these new Trail Blazer fellas attempt to do what my dog does in the park; drop the Nuggets.

One last note about TV tonight, I saw the Spade/Farley ad again, and for the first time I listened to the end of the commercial. Spade’s last line is, “it never gets old.” Does he mean that joke, or Chris Farley? They’re ruthless; they may have well filmed the commercial ON Farley’s grave, and digitized him bumbling around and knocking over his own tombstone. It’s time to watch something on DVR, where commercials don’t exist.